


I Can't Quit, Can I?

by Lyricanna



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude dealing with Alliance's pointless bickering, Claude's internal monologue, Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyricanna/pseuds/Lyricanna
Summary: A prompt fill: The Leicester Alliance is kind of disjointed and the lords bicker amongst themselves all the time, and whenever it gets too heated Duke Riegan has to step in to triangulate.  This is the most ridiculous argument Claude has ever had to moderate.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	I Can't Quit, Can I?

As the Council meeting dragged on into it's fifth hour, Claude was trying not to scream. He had mastered the art of keeping a neutral, interested face. Even so, his resolve was cracking. He glanced around the room and tried to meet Holst's eyes. Claude was half convinced that Duke Gonneril was asleep with his eyes open. Lorenz, sitting slightly behind his father, was discreetly trimming his nails. Margrave Edmund had bowed out an hour earlier, claiming that his arthritis was acting up. Claude wished he had a similar excuse to use to get out of this. Acheron and another minor noble had come to present a case that was perhaps, no, certainly the stupidest thing Claude had heard in his twenty years of life.

 _For the sake of all that's holy, we have a war to deal with_ , Claude wanted to yell. There were fortresses to reinforce, trade routes to guard, mail caravan routes to change, further recruitment into the Alliance's armies to work out as well as the training and supplies involved in bolstering their ranks. There were border disputes to settle, alliances with Almyra and ideally Sreng to be made and the list went on. Endlessly. Yet here they were. The argument had started over the prices of merchant guards and the discrepancies faced by different noble houses for the same services. That was a reasonable concern, one that Claude thought he could quickly remedy. Somehow it had devolved into this; an argument over who had the rights to a singular cart of Morphis plums, based on the route they had taken to entire Alliance territory.

Both parties had made a similar order on the same day. This one shipment had gone through Acheron's territory to be delivered to a different noble house. Acheron believed that the shipment should have gone to him, given that he was closer geographically to Morphis than the other noble. And if he somehow didn't have rights to that particular shipment, then he should have been able to tax it, for passing through his lands. Even though those roads were paid for and maintained by the Alliance itself, not Lord Acheron's personal funds. The other man believed that the shipment had gone to the right place at the right time and that taxing other members of the Alliance for using roads paid for by the Alliance was ludicrous.

 _I could leave,_ Claude thought. _Just hand everything over to... someone. Judith maybe. Lorenz is finally getting his head out of his arse, so maybe that's an option too. I could just get on my wyvern and go back to Almyra. I could claim the throne. I can take any of my half siblings in a fight by now. Or I could go live in the mountains. Explore, visit Kupala. Visit Morphis and apologize for everything wrong in the Alliance and beg that they spare me. Maybe learn about their magic. Or visit Dagda, find a nice man. Same sex marriages are revered there, unlike in Fodlan where they're tolerated._

_At least I've never put the Golden Deer through anything this ridiculous. Then again, Lorenz and I have had some pretty stupid arguments. Which would have been avoided had Lorenz pulled his head out of his arse sooner. Even though he was wrong, he was at least willing to learn. And we have never had one argument last this long. Have we? No I'm sure I'd remember an argument that long. If he continued on with an argument for over five hours, I'd have just let him take the win. Even Hilda can't talk for this long and she loves to gossip. She'd get tired or bored or ask me to do something for her._

_Even Balthus can't talk about my mother for this long, and he is waaaay into my mother. No, I'm not thinking about that, it's too weird. He was seven when she disappeared! SEVEN! She was already nineteen. She probably babysat him at council meetings! And she would never have had a crush on a literal CHILD. Okay, Claude, calm down. Try and focus. Adjourn this meeting and go get some tea and a snack because this is obviously too much._

“-and if that doesn't convince you of my superior and correct position in this matter, I don't know what will,” Acheron finished. 

“I have a solution,” Claude said, his patience at last giving out. “I will buy you both a shipment of plums if I never have to hear about this again.” The vitriol in his voice was enough to draw every eye in the room. “If you waste the Council's time like this again, I will let the new soldiers use you as training dummies. Are we clear?”

A shocked and silent nod from the other noble was all of the encouragement that Claude needed. “Good. I hereby pass that solution using my position as Archduke without a vote. This meeting is now adjourned.” With that he stood up and hurried out of the council room before Count Gloucester could start an argument just for the sake of disagreeing with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt and the first thing that came to mind was an episode of People's Court where two senior citizens were suing one another for the price of a $7 beer. She offered to pay each of them $8 and never come back into her court room.


End file.
